Don't be a Hobo


There have been times in my life when I was really not in style. And other times when I have been stylish with a vengeance. I seem to swing back and forth like a human pendulum with a penchant for popular fashion blogs and too many pairs of yoga pants (without actually doing yoga). But I've decided/discovered that life is one giant balancing act between who you are at your best and at your worst. And that's really what I set out to say when I started this blog. Style is really just the ability to make your life personal.

When I lived with a house full of girls, we had an expression. "Don't be a hobo". Which basically was a favourite admonishment for those days when any one of us just didn't feel like being presentable or sociable. Because there are moments when mascara is a monumental task.

And in those days, we were quite concerned with appearing at all times to be amazing young women.

The best days were when all four of us were hobos together. Then we'd wear pajamas and lay around the living room, making up ridiculous songs on the guitar about our love-lives, such as "Let's Not be Awkward" and "Mr. Hot and Cold", both very much applicable to my dating experience. Of course, it doesn't make much of a difference if you shrug your shoulders and refuse to make an effort when you're that young and your thighs don't need to be packed into non-stretch denim to remain firmly above your kneecaps.

Fast forward to the forty year home-stretch and those hobo days become so obvious, you may as well hang a sign around your neck that says "I just don't care today, so sue me".

And then you accessorize your hobo look with a sour expression, or an exhausted grimace, and you walk twice as quickly as necessary to prove to anyone who sees you that you're only dressed like that because you're incredibly busy being superwoman and your schedule is apparently that much more stressful than theirs.

But maybe we don't need matching eyebrows or painted nails to show that we care. Maybe being stylish has nothing to do with chevron wallpaper and neat rows of potted herbs in the kitchen window. And it very well could be that entertaining is really about relationships, rather than an impressive table setting.

I know. You're all gasping right now. Me too. Because I like to impress with a good centerpiece.

But with all the pins and mags and blogs that assault our vulnerable sensibilities these days, I think we sometimes lose ourselves somewhere in the mix. Where are YOU in that clever new cupcake design that just went viral? No where. You find your true self in the moment when you get to surprise your kids with those cupcakes. Or when you stuff one into your face, laughing hysterically, at a dinner party with friends. You are not found in the design. You are found in the intent.

Being a hobo really means that you've grown weary of putting on your best self and you just need some time to remember your real self - that beautiful, fascinating, complicated combo of awesome and not awesome.

So dress up when you want to. And put on those yoga pants and shredded sneakers when you want to. Be so helpful and sincere and aware that people don't even notice that you under-moisturized.

And wear a smile that says "Yeah, there are paint stains on my pants. But paint stains are really just so ME today."

Life isn't about being presentable. It's about being happy. I need to remember that as much as anybody.

So go right ahead and have a hobo day. I'll have one too. In fact, I'm wearing yoga pants right now.

I also just made donuts. And they would not look good on pinterest.

But I intend to enjoy eating them.

Plain donuts are so ME today.


  1. You are a joy, a delight, a gift, and a glorious writer. Thanks for your blog efforts. Your sharing is important, so happy to have found this!

  2. Hello! I found your blog because a friend posted your "Mormonism, Feminism, and being snarky" post on Facebook. I've only read through a few of your posts so far, but I've loved them. Just followed you on Bloglovin' and thought I would say hi. I love the way you write and the things you write about, and I'm am looking forward to reading more. :)